03.31.06

Consciences must be a sense because when I am drunk the conscience is lessened, meaning I do not think about too many things at once (when observing a single thing I do not think of its components/constituencies) I only think of it. In addition to conscience being dissolved into a lower state of being; all of the naturally called “senses” are too.

When I’m drunk, all of my logic just flows out of my heard w/o being encumbered by my usual over thinking of matters. Yes it’s all I do too much, this over thinking, it really is that simple. I can walk out of the door of my room worried about my computer and checking on the progress of my downloads a minute ago, and in two steps have forgotten about it!!!! AMAZING! So, what’s the result? Getting drunk seems to numb the personal dilemmas of a person and allow them to be what they really aspire to be, but also the same “what” that they are holding back themselves whilst trying to aspire to what they would like to be (its wearing off now ) SAD!!!!! It was so good while it lasted (not over yet thought still some more to go!) This way of thinking should (WILL I wish I knew how to do an HTML style cross out on should) be my way of doing things, I will practice it (I hope unless I get DEPRESSED, poor old me right, GOD I hate that [even though I just prayed to Jesus a min ago w/o feeling the slightest bit of prejudice/bias/previous influence or thinking about what other/myself would think over the matter]!
Geez, its so much easier to practice whatever you’re doing when drunk and concentrate, I mean really concentrate like on the soccer field when visualizing the players and attempting to APPRECIATE what’s going on around you to the very best of your ability. The ideas just seem to flow out (beside the point) and the concentration on the actions seem more focused. I know this last statement seems like a paradox, seeing as my motor skills are much dehabilitaed whilst drunk, but its not b/c the actions of the mind are more focused more on these now dehabilitated (as is expected) actions of the muscles (coordination was the word I was looking for when I wrote ‘motor skills’) and not the actions of the muscles themselves are what matters, the IMMENSLEY increased concentration on their behavior whether dehabilitared ( which spell check see\ms to say is not a word) is the most important.