04.21.06

When I can spend four hours of my time, hustling back and forth doing nothing much, besides copying a CD and cleaning some things around the house and also spend those four hours in school absorbing valuable information about Physics and Calculus, there must be some significant change in my psyche which occurs when I enter this chool building & immerse myself in the social structure.

So I propose that I attempt to take the time I have as though I could waste it and do nothing too much with it, OR I could pretend that I am in those classes for that time and assign myself the same duties which seem to me at the moment not only almost impossible, but more so as though I can never muster the self-determination and strength to cause myself to feel the same way for such a prolonged time.

I also have the following logic to point out about learning to play guitar:

1. Playing by yourself takes the most talent, ingenuity, and experience, b/c there is nothing to build upon. It is more like painting on a blank canvas.

2. Playing with a group is a somewhat less challenging because there are the group “guide rails” provided by the other band members in both rhythm, tone, and key.

3. Paying from written or tabulated music is the least demanding and most autonomously progressive because it IS experience in the combinations of tone, etc. which are added to a person’s personal library and catalogue of possible snippets of music to combine. Plus it is steady, reliable methodology with predictable results and made test cases (the authors of the music!).

I find that I learn exceptionally well when I try to take on ther persona performing whatever action is being attempted to be taught to me. For example if I see some 1 untying a knot, then I pretend their hands re really mine, and through the visualizations, created senses, and thoughts, I learn that THAT way IS the way in which tying a knot (in this case) is done.

I can further abstract this concept to my studies in physics and calculus, etc. My main problem when I study these subjects, is that I raise more questions than I can possibly answer, with the given knowledge, and the time restrictions, but these ?ns do not hinder my self deprecating emotions. Now I've learned to attempt to take each problem's solution I see worked out, or mistake which I catch as another lesson (as though I'd learned it form a book). In this way I minimize the skepticism, thus reduce my stubbornness to accepting the material (which is the main hindrance in my appreciation and absorption of the stuff). Furthermore I now no longer have to take everything , as I like to do anyway (but this HAS been proven quite unsuccessful in most cases), and relate it back to the one or two lines I've read in a book, or heard from some1, and thus deemed as my only FACT for this type of idea, concept, or whatever I happen to be exploring (which is totally unscientific b/c it's extremely biased), and try to reason how, from that idea I am to attain this new idea. This, however tantalizingly useful it might seem, is completely anticlimactic in helping me reach my ultimate goal: the ability to perform whatever is being taught to my level of satisfaction. So now, I toss this idea, and false hope for increasing my reasoning abilities (what I'm asking for is incredible and is as if I'm to rediscover the entire theory, with all of the preliminary step by myself; no wonder the amount of work is intolerable, frustrating, and seemingly impossible most of the time), and replace it with an assured trust in these words and examples I'm seeing. This broadens my base with which I can now reason (and usually opens the door for more logical reasonings, which is what I'm after & what makes the practice or learning this new material fun, and motivates me to actually seek out the knowledge; this is the application part, the problem solving part, the creative part, the practical part (in my POV) as I progress through the ideas and concepts, solving problems, etc.) and make exiting logical conclusions from a limited number of knowns!