03.11.06

Wow so much thinking makes me tired, very tired. I'm trying not to lose my edge that I've gained since this morning, I've even made some cool deductions and when I was confused I was able to leave them be and not be depressed over what I've left! Exiting. So I'm trying to continue the fight with my feelings and control what I believe to be the negative ones, allowing myself to think and letting go of failures as only events, no more, however I must comment on my social behaviors. When I was talking to Jeremy just a little while ago, I could not restrain myself from not following what he had to say once I had an idea I wanted to share with him. I understood what he said, however I was not actively involved in the concepts and thus could not think of any questions that I might ask him, which would mean that I had sacrificed my greed to say what I wanted to say for listening to what he had to say to me. I think that I should sacrifice this, I mean all of the old saying are right thus far in one case or another once I have gained the necessary knowledge to understand their intents, so I believe that I can potentially understand them all so I should give them a chance since I think they are good morals to follow. This one illustrated here is obviously listen more and talk less. It is so difficult for me to give way my ideas and simply accept that I will not tell him what I had planned, but that should not be so bothersome. I mean I don't approve of plans in general, and why should I be encumbered by guilt when I seek to drop one of these previous plans, which usually leave me depressed when I feel guilty about doing just that? The answer is that I shouldn't be burdened by any such feelings, and I will school myself next time and practice this saying at intervals I feel right like a real exercise of the morals v selfishness.